Live/Wire - Diary - The General's Diary #1
The Woodford Halse & St Austell weekend - 29th/30th September 2007, in brief, according to The General:-
The General sets off in Thunderbird 1 after much pissing about! He
meets up with Shakey & The Geordie at Mr. Beef Janks’ house. Shakey
proceeds to transfer half of Sherwood Forest & the B&Q tools
department into Thunderbird 1, declaring “I’ve done the calculations.
I’m gonna build the steps!”
They find the venue, only to discover that Beef Janks (our sound man
& mentor) has been there for hours & proceeds to take the
piss!! – no change there then!!
Soundcheck goes well with Beef Janks saying that The Generals drum kit sounded great……..for a change!!......
To my amazement, SnoozyBoozy pokes her head around the door!! And her son Ricky!
Beano “forces” The General to sample his Absolut Vanilla vodka!!!!
JonBon proceeds to gaffer-tape two large carrots to TinKs mic’ stand! – As per the initiation ceremony vote!
During the gig, RiffRaff & SouthernGrown are spotted!!!!!! All the way from the U.S.A.!!!!!....unbelievable!!!
A few songs into the show, The General realizes that he has broken yet another cymbal!
During the “Bon” era set, Beef Janks pulls up his shirt & plays
with his tits! Beano continues to do offensive impressions! – JonBon
gets put off!
One of TinKs carrots mysteriously goes missing!!
Great gig!
After the gig, Vic The Git appears before The General and pipes up in a
thick Scottish accent “ Yoos been fukkin quiet tuneet yer big
basterrd!!!”
Back at the Travelodge, The General drinks half of Shakey’s whiskey
& admires Captain Picards stern demeanour on Star Trek T.N.G!!
Shakey passes out!
The next day – only 263 miles to the next venue!! – The General,
inspired by last nights Travelodge viewing, puts Thunderbird 1 to warp
factor 8!!
The M5 brings two memorable sights – a burnt out Range Rover on the
hard shoulder & a woman hurling her ring up over the armco’!! – A
real stomach-full too!! It all seems to happen on the M5!!
A traditional LiveWire pit stop at the Jamaica Inn on the A30 sees The
General having a pint of “Tribute” ale, Shakey has a pint of “Black
Death” cider & The Geordie has…….a cup of tea!!.......
The Keay Theatre witnesses the usual very helpful crew doing their stuff! We just tell ‘em what we want & they sort it!!
The General runs into BadBoyBennetts outside the dressing room! He
informs him that St Austell had run out of schoolboy outfits!
BadBoyBennetts appears to be slightly inebriated!!!!!
Beano, TinK & The General stumble across Fudgizzle!!.......................At the bar!!!!
Loads of people wearing schoolboy outfits turn up in the audience!!!!
Fantastic gig!! – Some hairy bloke fondles The Geordie’s knackers!! The
Generals broken cymbal is now resembling something that crashed in
Roswell!!
Post show, Beano does the meet & greet thing and manages to wangle
two drumsticks out of The General for a couple of young ‘uns!! The
second of TinKs carrots goes A.W.O.L.!!!!
The Premier Travel Inn at St Austell – the boys convene in Beano’s
room. Shakey & The Geordie have an in depth conversation about
Thunderbirds, Captain Scarlet & Joe 90!!.......Many confused looks
are exchanged between the rest of the band!! The General drinks the
rest of Shakeys whiskey & pisses off!!
On the way back home, Shakey, The Geordie & The General stop off at
Beef Janks’ house for a caffeine shot! During one of Beef Janks’
reminisces, The General counts 16 “f*cks”, 4 “bast*rds”, 3 “c*nts”
& a “boll*cks”, all within the space of about a minute!!!
After that, The General pilots Thunderbird 1 home & remembers that he bought some vodka earlier!!!...........
Another LiveWire weekend sorted…..!!!!!!
All the best!
General-Von-Fukkanzihoffn (Daz – Drums!)
Posted by Daz on Tue 2nd October 2007