Live/Wire - The AC/DC Tribute Show - Diary

Live/Wire - Diary - The General's Diary #4

Tavistock Wharf & The Acorn Theatre, Penzance 14th,15th & 16th December 2007.

Friday sees The General making a VERY early start, driving down to Dunstable, as a favour/emergency delivery for his mate & midweek boss, Shane VanMan. Up & out for 4am – back home & back in bed for 8.45am!! - “I’m sure that gear lever seems loose!”
The Generals alarm fails to go off for 10am & he wakes up at 10.45am………..SHIT!!

Thunderbird 1 is loaded in double quick time with things being thrown in from long distance & after a brief ‘ta ta’ & snog & indeed a not so brief grope from Frau-Von-Fukkanzihoffn, hurtles down the M1 to Beef Janks’ gaff & meets up with Shakey & The Geordie. – “I’m definitely sure that gear lever is loose!!”
The remaining gear is put in along with The Geordie’s mysterious bag that seems to serve no purpose whatsoever!! (& now he has another bag as well………????!!)

The trio pile down to Gordano services on the M5 & meet up with the rest of the lads. Even more gear is crammed & shoe-horned into Thunderbird 1 & the last part of the journey, finally gets underway!
They arrive at Tavistock Wharf in good time, considering the late start & the loafing about at Gordano!! – “I’m sure that bloody gear lever seems loose!!!”

The Wharf - Ready To Rock The show goes without a hitch!! - The audience up for a real good time, right from the start!!! A great atmosphere, a great gig!! Thanks to everybody who came!!! – a brilliant night!!

After the show, everyone strips down & gets ready for load-out. The General goes to move Thunderbird 1 into position. Unfortunately, he is only able to move Thunderbird 1 a few yards & can’t get reverse gear!! - “Shit……..I f*cking knew that f*cking gear lever was b*stard loose!!!!!!! – what a bloody, bastard, bleeding twat!!!” – Thunderbird 1 is pushed into position & starts to be loaded! The Geordie takes command of van packing duties while The General phones the AA!!!
After Thunderbird 1 is finally loaded, TinK elects to stay behind with

The General & wait for the AA man! The rest of the guys ponce off to the Travelodge!!

The AA man turns up exactly 10 seconds after The General receives a text message from them saying that the guy is 10 minutes away!!!

The AA man turns out to be a very friendly, honest chap!! – But has to deliver bad news to The General…..it’s unrepairable!!! Apparently, the ‘giggle pin’ had come off the ‘laughing shaft’ in the gearbox!!.......& Thunderbird 1 was going knowhere!!!

TinK & The General decide the best option for the rest of the weekend is to push Thunderbird 1 into the corner of the car park & hire a van for the rest of the weekend!

By a majority vote, The General elects TinK to go & get a taxi while he guards Thunderbird 1!!!........... “None shall pass!!”

TinK heads off into the cold night leaving The General alone! This seems a good excuse for The General to break open the vodka which was bought earlier from Tesco’s!!!

Tipple after tipple calms The General down somewhat & then Tink eventually phones with bad news – “ Mate……..you’d better phone the lads…….there’s no way I’m going to get a taxi…..there’s no bastard……..there’s no f*cking……..ooh…..hang on!!............I’ve got one!!...........I’ve bloody got one!!!.....see you in a minute!!!”

TinK & The General are transported to the Travelodge by one of the friendliest taxi drivers EVER!! – a real nice guy!! The fellow even helps carry all the bags into the Travelodge reception!!!! – Many thanks to him!! – What a nice chap!!

The boys convene in The Generals room & proceed to beg for food from The Generals food bag! – The bag consists of a camping stove & gas supply! – cooking tins & indeed “wholesome” tins of sausage casserole, beef stew, chilli con carne, etc!! The General, trying to be the nice guy that he would like to be when he grows up, offers the remaining “wholesome” food to the lads……………….his food bag is promptly raped & pillaged & he is left with a tin of pineapple rings!!!!!!!

The next morning witnesses Shakey & Beano on a mission……..they manage to source a van hire place & get everything sorted before The Generals head even leaves the pillow!!!!!

The last minute organising, however has not gone exactly to plan!! – The original plan of The General being official van driver goes tits up!! - Nobody except Shakey has their driving license to produce at the van hire place!! – So Shakey has to drive the hire van for the rest of the weekend!!!

The van arrives at the Travelodge. The lads chuck their bags in the back & close the doors. It turns out that the back doors will not stay shut – even after the mightiest of body-checks by The General! Shakey goes into problem solving mode, Beano starts to despair, The General hunts around the car park for something to tie the door up with, TinK stands around & says”mmm” a lot & The Geordie gets out his phone & proceeds to shout into it!! The General however, manages to find a piece of elasticated string & Shakey ties the unruly doors shut!

It’s revealed by Shakey that he hasn’t driven a big van for years! This fact doesn’t concern The General, until some VERY near misses on the passenger side! The list of near casualties include dry stone walls, parked cars, large tree branches & some doddering old twat on a bike!!
They make it, unscathed, back to Tavistock Wharf & swap the gear over from Thunderbird 1 to the hire van.

They then set off for Penzance & The Acorn Theatre!

Upon arrival at the venue, the lads are greeted in the dressing room by the smell of fresh Cornish pasties! The promise by Blakey had been honoured with flying colours!!! – Bless him!! – What a guy!!!
The band tuck in to the still warm giant pasties - & true to form, (& indeed his small frame!) TinK can only manage about a third of his! He hands the rest to The General without hesitation!! – Totally confident that it will be consumed with gusto!! – He isn’t disappointed! Shakey manages about half of his – The General obliges with the rest. And the remainder of The Geordies is shared between Beano & ….guess who??!!!! The boys are then reminded by Blakey that they still need to load in the gear & set up! The band snap themselves out of their “Pre-Cambrian man” feasting frenzy & jump to it!!!

After set-up & sound check, the band relax in the dressing room.

A sudden noise of banging, laughter & cheering out in the main hall signals the unmistakable arrival of Bad Boy Bennetts & Mansfield!! Beano, Shakey & The General go out to greet them.
These crazy fans are each armed with 2 pints of beer & are dressed in their now customary schoolboy outfits with writing in marker pen all over the back!! – They are “well oiled” already & show no intentions or indications of slowing down!
Ricko arrives at the start of the gig & the “Cornwall Crazies” are reunited! – 3 of THE maddest bastards you could ever meet!!! – Bless ‘em!!

Penzance - Bon Scott Lives banner The gig itself has too many highlights to list! – 2 large banners are hung from the balcony!! 1 of them reads ”Bon Scott Lives!” & the other states “LiveWire – Gods Of Rock!!!” – A HUGE thank you to the people that made these & took the trouble to bring them along & put them on display!! – Unbelievable!!

The Cornwall Crazies as ever go completely bananas throughout the entire show! The atmosphere is absolutely terrific from start to finish!!
The General manages to kill 2 cymbals & his main snare drum in the first third of the gig!! The spare snare also gets its head smashed in a little later!!! – Luckily JonBon is on hand to put a spare skin on his main snare drum! He crashes into the dressing room, throws Beano back on stage & the gig continues as if nothing had happened!!

“For Those About To Rock” sees a full, front row salvo of party poppers!! They go off in all the right places & they continue until the end of the song!! – Again, the effort is GREATLY appreciated by all of us!! – Anything to make the show more enjoyable is encouraged!! THANK YOU!!

Afterwards Bad Boy Bennets & Mansfield stagger into the dressing room & chill out with the band for a while! Mansfield asks The General what drink he would like from the bar……….about 6 times! – “A vodka please mate! Very kind of you! Cheers!”(×6)!
With an early start beckoning the next day, the boys strip down sharpish, but then get tempted downstairs to the bar, with the offer of free drinks!! – Bargain!!!
There follows a nice chat with the staff & an accusation by JonBon that The General is a “mad bastard!” for ordering a huge tequila!!

The next day the lads charge back to Tavistock Wharf……again!! They reload Thunderbird 1 & Shakey & Beano hurry back to the van hire depot!
Upon their return, TinK jumps in Beanos car & they head off…..lucky bastards!!

With the AA continuously putting back the time of the pre-arranged recovery truck, The Geordie, Shakey & The General swan off to the Cornish pasty shop for a spot of breakfast in order to prevent impending frostbite!!!

To The Generals horror, the plates containing his pasties are accompanied by one of his arch enemies……..salad!! – “What the f*ck is this f*cking guff??! Do I look like a frigging rabbit??!!!”

The AA keep in touch with The General & with the impending arrival of the recovery truck, the trio head back.

On arrival back at the Wharf, yet another phone call from the AA greets The General! - Yep! – The truck is going to be even later than previously stated! This time however, The General takes the call from the universes most mind numbingly boring Brummy!! The man is SO boring that The General struggles to stay awake & upright after the first 3 syllables of his opening sentence!!!

The truck finally arrives 3½ hours late!! It also transpires that because of the law, governing driving time, there will have to be a change over at Bridgwater services!....Great!

The driver from Tavistock to Bridgwater is humorous & talkative! The driver that takes over from him, however seems a bit of an arsey twat!! He talks less than Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator 1!!! His silence continues all the way back to Beef Janks’ gaff!

Shakey & The Geordie disembark & The General continues on in the recovery truck.

The driver asks The General the road where he wants Thunderbird 1 leaving – after which follows a stunning, out-of-the-blue, non-stop 25 minute conversation about sat’ nav’ systems & settings!! – In fact, it’s now proving increasingly difficult to keep the guy quiet!!
They reach the destination – The Generals friends garage – Wayne Mekanik, who fixes all things vehicular!!! In an earlier phone call, Wayne tells The General to “Dump it there & put the keys through the letterbox! – I’ll sort it!!”

Thunderbird 1 is reversed off the back of the truck & The General gets ready to phone Frau-Von-Fukkanzihoffn out of work for a lift home! But the driver offers to take The General home!! – Not AA procedure at all!! – A very generous offer indeed!

The General arrives home & thanks the driver for his generosity! The AA man, now in good spirits, heads off – probably glad to see the back of the twatty trio!!

On arriving at the back door, The General realizes that he still has the keys to Thunderbird 1 in his pocket!!.....PILLOCK!!
So the long day does not end there, as The General has to now wait for Frau-Von-Fukkanzihoffn to finish work in the small hours! She arrives home, takes The General back to the garage & then back again!!

At the end of it all, The General was craving mattress, quilt & pillow!!