Live/Wire - Diary - The General's Diary #7
Swindon 12 Bar & The Guildhall, St Ives - 12th & 13th September 2008.
The Friday has an early start for The General, (5.30am!) having to make a delivery of shit to Droitwitch Spa. Luckily, the forklift driver actually turns up on time for a change & unloads the works van without delay!! However, the miserable bastard fails to crack even the briefest of smiles as The General gives many thanks & prepares to sod off! – What does this guy do to let his hair down??.....watch home made suicide videos??!!!
On return home, The General has to go & buy & fit a new battery for Thunderbird 1!! As the previous battery had dropped dead, due to being fucked up, suddenly!
On top of that The General & Frau-Von-Fukkanzihoffn have to go to Wayne Mekanik’s gaff to pick up her car, which has been in for a new starter motor! – They are about to set off just as The Geordie & Kimmy turn up! So they ply them with coffee & piss off!!
Upon their return, they load Thunderbird 1 to the hilt & begin the trek down to Swindon.
Unfortunately, an accident on the M1 has produced a traffic jam the size of Portugal, so The General decides to take the A38……..sadly, everybody else in the galaxy decides to take that road also, making the entire area more congested than a flu ridden gorilla’s nose!!.....SO….the tomtom satnav unit is asked to come up with an alternative route……..it delivers!.....driving through some of the most deserted villages & narrow roads in all of Christendom, they manage to make it round all of the traffic troubles & get on their way!!!
Eventually they reach the 12 Bar in Swindon & are greeted by the rest of the boys, who, apparently, according to Shakey, have been there waiting since the last glaciation of northern Europe! The General greets the lads & particularly Willie Hekazlike (Pete) who is standing in for us (again!) doing the ‘Brian’ vocals! Classicrockmaiden also turns up for another bout of ear hole bashing ‘DC style!
It’s a bit of a rush job to set up, but the gear is soon up & the lads are ready to rock!!
A gig at the 12 Bar is normally a rowdy, enjoyable affair & this one is no exception! A group of adult schoolgirls make an appearance at the front of the stage & proceed to ogle JonBon’s arse all night!! Onion is forced to spend the entire show cooped up in a cubby hole!! And there are periodic yells of “Come on, Tinker!!” It’s a great gig & Willie Hekazlike does us proud, squawking his lungs out like a bastard! Many thanks to all of the audience – you’re all mad!!!
It’s been organized that the band will be staying overnight upstairs in the venue itself. With a fridge full of free beer, no traveling to do & no stripping down of gear to be done until the next day, the scene is set for a bit of a ‘knees up’!
After his long day however, The General retires to bed early, to the complete disbelief of TinK!!
It’s up early again the next day as the drive from Swindon to St Ives will take about 4 hours, plus there will have to be the now customary Toby Carvery stop en route!
The gear is wearily stripped down & the lads set off for Cornwall!!
After a mild eternity, Thunderbird 1, with The General’s passengers, Kimmy & The Geordie, descend on St Ives. On the way down into the old part of town, the houses & trees clear to reveal the beautiful, sun bathed harbour! This prompts the comment from The Geordie – “Aw, look at that!.......aw……aaww………’s not fair, man!!”
 Awwwww.... Pretty.... Like! |
The venue is down a very narrow little street called Street-An-Pol. Blakey is waiting for them! – “Oh great! What the bloody hell are you doing here eh??!! That’s all I need!!”
He then tells The General that the loading area is down the side of the building, down an even narrower street! Thunderbird 1 is shoe horned down the alley into position! The General then buggers off to the shops, for some ‘provisions’!
The gear is unloaded & the full stage set is steadily put in position. Willie Hekazlike watches somewhat apprehensively, as JonBon loads the charges into the cannons!
Just before the show, there is a quick photo call for the band, where TinK takes the piss out of The Geordie & The General tries to make TinK lose the plot, by massaging his arse!! – Hope no one caught THAT on camera!!?
The show is a cracker, with the Cornish audience going typically bonkers!
Willie Hekazlike does us proud again, screeching, prowling about the stage & squatting as though he needs a shit, in true Brian Johnson style!
Huge thanks to the big crowd for coming! You made it a great night!
After the show, The General is collared by Ricko! – One of the Kornwall Krazies!
Always good to talk to these guys – they always support us to the max!! And what’s more, their ranks are steadily growing!! New faces were seen in Kornwall Krazies uniform tonight!! – Well done lads! Above & beyond the call of duty! We salute you!!
The LiveWire circus leaves Cornwall that same night. Driving 80+ miles to Sourton Cross Travelodge. On the way, Thunderbird 1 nearly runs out of diesel, because all but one of the so called 24 hour service stations are closed!! 24 hour opening must have a different meaning down these parts??!!!
The Travelodge sees normal service resume, post gig! – The General gets out the camping stove & guzzles vodka, Shakey laughs a bit too much at his own jokes, TinK smiles a lot, Onion takes the piss out of everybody, JonBon & The Geordie make witty comments about the current program on TV & Willie Hekazlike joins in the frolics, grinning like a Cheshire cat!!!
The next day, everyone says their farewells & go their separate ways for another week. A BIG thanks is received by Willie Hekazlike for helping us out so well!!
The General manages to drive the remaining 225 miles back home, non stop!! Passengers Kimmy & The Geordie, sleep & play sudoku & sleep, respectively!!
After a slightly grueling eternity, they arrive at El Bastardos! Where The General demonstrates to The Geordie the sheer brilliance of Unreal Tournament 3 on the PC!!
Then, Kimmy & The Geordie head off home, leaving The General alone with a bottle of vodka & Unreal Tournament 3 running on the PC!!...........What more could a complete twat want???!!!!!
General-Von-Fukkanzihoffn (a.k.a. – Daz, Drums)
Posted by Daz on Wed 17th September 2008
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